Friday, March 21, 2008

I (heart) Stephen Colbert -- and (sort of) wrote this song to prove it

Honey, you know I love you, but, because I know confession is good for the soul, I have to confess, I have a little thing for Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report."

And so, with apologies to (and hopefully the permission of) lyricist Joseph McCarthy, composer Jimmy Monaco, Judy Garland and Clark Gable (who are all dead), and because I've grown a bit weary of commenting on politicians' sex lives and the campaign (though am very excited about Bill Richardson endorsing Barack Obama today), and baseball season doesn't start for a couple more weeks, I wrote this:

Dear Mr. Colbert,
I am writing this to you
and I hope that you will read it so you'll know
My heart beats like a hammer
and I stutter and I stammer
every time I see you on your Comedy Central show.
I guess I'm just another fan of yours
and I thought I'd write and tell you so - oh!

You made me love you
I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it.
You made me love you
and all the time you knew it, I guess you always knew it.
You made me happy, sometimes you made me glad.
But there were times, sir (like last night, when you were incredibly rude to Dr. Melanie Stiassny of the American Museum of Natural History), you made me feel so sad.

You made me sigh 'cause
I didn't wanna tell you, I didn't wanna tell you
I think you're grand, that's true
Yes I do, 'deed I do, you know I do.
I must tell you what I'm feeling
The very mention of your name (Stephen Colbert!)
sends my heart reeling.
You know you made me love you!

I don't care what happens,
let the whole world stop (though actually, that would be a really bad thing).
As far as I'm concerned, you'll always be the top (better than Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Reilly, though not Anderson Cooper, I think I have a thing for him, too),
'cause you know you made me love you.

I would also really like two tickets to see your show.

3 comments:

larissaschwartz said...

You HAVE to send this to "The Report" and I might even try to make it into a song. YouTube video anyone?

Anonymous said...

LOL! Send it to him! Maybe you'll score a couple of tickets to the show. He is only the most brilliant satirist since Jonathan Swift. Did you see the episode where he had Lou Dobbs on the Colberto Reporto? Genius.

PS: Thanks for the shout-out the other day. :-)

J. said...

I just sent it to him -- or rather the Webmaster at Colbert Nation. Couldn't find another way to email it. Will let you all know what happens.

Would love to make a video, N5M, and put it on YouTube. I just can't sing.

And Betty, thanks so much for alerting me to the Lou Dobbs interview. I just watched it -- and put a link to it on the main post. OMG. It's hysterical. (My pleasure, btw.)